Received my appointment from the War Office as chaplain to the 16th Division. Fiat voluntas tua. What the future has in store I know not but I have given Jesus all to dispose of as He sees best. My heart is full of gratitude to Him for giving me this chance of being really generous and of leading a life that will be truly crucified.
COMMENT: The above words were written by Fr Doyle on 15 November 1915. His long desired wish to give all for Christ was approaching, and the final heroic chapter of his life was about to open.
Anyone who has read an account of the experiences of Fr Doyle in the Great War knows just how difficult and “crucified” that life really was. None of us know what the future holds in store for us. Undoubtedly it holds a mixture of joys and sufferings. Would Fr Doyle have offered himself as a military chaplain if he knew all that it would involve? I am inclined to think that he would, although we can never know for sure. What we can know is that many of us would gladly decline such sufferings if we could. But there is an important spiritual lesson in all of this. We receive grace to cope with sufferings when we actually need it, in other words, when we are actually experiencing those sufferings. As Fr Doyle once wrote, we carry our cross bit by bit, not all in one go – we take each day as it comes. We do not receive grace to bear sufferings that are not asked of us at all, or that are not asked of us yet. That is why fear about the future is such an awful thing – the imagined problems of the future lack the divine assistance that we would receive if we were actually asked to carry that particular cross. I am always struck by the calmness of some people who face terminal illnesses and imminent death. I recently visited one such person – a neighbour of mine. He had been given only 3 months to live due to pancreatic cancer. He was poor, didn’t have much, and didn’t have many people to look out for him. When I imagine myself in such a situation I feel very distressed, yet he was calm – he had the grace to deal with these struggles precisely because he was actually facing these struggles. I, on the other hand, do not have the same problems, and thus I do not have the grace to bear those particular crosses.
Fr Doyle believed in living in the present moment – it is the only time we actually have, and the only time we can truly offer to God. By cultivating this habit, and relying on the grace God gives us in the present moment, we can learn to have the same detachment and serene acceptance that Fr Doyle exhibited 104 years ago today.