I am writing in great desolation and sadness, tempted even to abandon my vocation and plunge headlong into sin. All this is the result of having given in to myself, broken my resolutions and indulged myself in every way. Oh, my God, what am I to do? I made a fresh start with great generosity and determination, and in three days was worse than ever. I see my deadly enemy is my weak character and inconstant will, which I have made worse by years of yielding to it. My Jesus, I am humbled and crushed. Is there any use trying more? Every effort means a new failure and disappointment to You; and still I feel You urging me on to nobler things, to begin again.
COMMENT: Fr Doyle’s quote today is quite revealing about his own spiritual struggles. At one point he was even tempted to abandon God and his vocation! There is much we can learn from this…
Lent is almost at an end. Holy Week will begin tomorrow.
Perhaps, after 5 weeks of Lent, we feel somewhat like Fr Doyle. Perhaps we have broken our resolutions. Perhaps we have squandered many opportunities for growing in holiness and preparing ourselves well for the celebration of Holy Week and Easter. Perhaps, also like Fr Doyle, we have already repented of our unfaithfulness to our resolutions, only to once again give up, ending up worse than we originally were.
Never mind! There is still time. As Fr Doyle tells us, we are urged towards nobler things, we are urged to begin again. This was the practice of all the saints. This is the path we must follow.