St. Alphonsus Rodriguez is a striking example of one who, though in a lowly station in life, devoid of all that in the eyes of the world makes for greatness, yet did a mighty work for God. With a heart burning with zeal, which prayer alone could not satisfy, he saw in the young ardent Peter Claver a ready instrument for the work he longed to do. With burning words he fires the soul of the future apostle with a hunger for abandoned souls. He tells him of the wretched slaves dragging out a miserable existence in a far-off world, knowing not the name of Jesus; he pictures to him the rich and golden harvest to be reaped, the victories over sin and Satan; he whispers of the pain and suffering, the heat, the toil, the lingering death, till Claver’s heart is aflame with zeal, burning with a holy fire.
With tender love did the old saint watch the young one grow in virtue day by day; with trembling hands he begs that grace may fall upon this fresh ardent soul and make him worthy of the heavenly call. Alphonsus’ eyes soon must close in death, his time is nearly run, his hour of sweet repose is drawing near; but if he may no longer toil for God, at least he longs to leave behind him one whom by his prayers and bright example he has made a saint.
COMMENT: Today is the feast of St Alphonsus Rodriguez, a Spanish Jesuit saint of the 16th and 17th century. He was a doorkeeper in the Jesuit house on Majorca. How many saints have been doorkeepers! From the top of my head, the distinguished list includes St Faustina, St Josephine Bakhita, St Conrad of Parzham, St Martin de Porres, Venerable Consolata Betrone, Venerable Solanus Casey and one of the most recently canonised saints, St Andre Bessette, as well as numerous others. The doorkeeper plays an important role in religious houses, acting as a link with the outside world. But it is also a humble one. Perhaps the Lord is trying to tell us something with the sheer number of saints who have held this humble role.
The humility of St Alphonsus’ task is one reason why Fr Doyle should have such admiration for him. After all, Fr Doyle’s constant theme of performing simple tasks well is readily applicable to the life of a humble doorkeeper. St Alphonsus also had great evangelical zeal, and he played a formative role in the life of the great apostle of the slaves, St Peter Claver. This aspect of St Alphonsus also clearly appealed to Fr Doyle, the tireless apostle.
May the example of St Alphonsus Rodriguez teach us that the simplest and most humble tasks are compatible with great sanctity.
You may read more about the spirituality of St Alphonsus Rodriguez here.
Also, following on from yesterday’s feast of Blessed Dominic Collins, here is an excellent 2 minute video about Blessed Dominic by Fr James Kubicki SJ. I only saw it after I had posted yesterday’s comments, but the video is excellent and well worth watching.
Darling Mother Mary, in preparation for the glorious martyrdom which I feel assured thou art going to obtain for me, I, thy most unworthy child, on this the first day of thy month, solemnly commence my life of slow martyrdom by earnest hard work and constant self-denial. With my blood I promise thee to keep this resolution, do thou, sweet Mother, assist me and obtain for me the one favour I wish and long for: To die a Jesuit Martyr.
COMMENT: The desire to die a martyr was with Fr Doyle from his earliest days. Far from being something morbid, it is one of the ultimate expressions of love for God – the desire to offer everything, even our life, for the One who has given everything to us.
This desire was felt by many saints across the ages, through perhaps we personally may identify more closely with the character in the Flannery O’Connor story described in these words:
She could never be a saint but she thought she could be a martyr if they killed her quick.
Today the Church celebrates the feast of Blessed Dominic Collins, one of the Irish martyrs and the only beatified Irish Jesuit. More information on Blessed Dominic is available here. He was only beatified in 1992, and there is no mention of him in any of Fr Doyle’s publicly available writings. However, it is almost certain that Fr Doyle, who was greatly interested in the lives of the saints and especially in martyrs, was aware of, and esteemed, his fellow Jesuit, especially since a book detailing the lives of the Irish martyrs was published by the Jesuit historian Fr Denis Murphy SJ during the years in which Fr Doyle was a Jesuit seminarian.
Fr Doyle ultimately had his wish – he did die a Jesuit martyr, albeit a martyr of charity, laying down his life to save another, as opposed to the more traditional definition of a martyr as one who dies in defence of the faith. May the example of Blessed Dominic, and of Fr Doyle, inspire us to a generous and selfless defence of truth and service of others. Let us also pray and work for a greater awareness of the many heroic examples of Irish Catholicism in a country that desperately needs positive Catholic role models. Pope Benedict’s Prayer for Ireland, in this special year of penance and reparation for the corruption in the Church, is appropriate:
God of our fathers, renew us in the faith which is our life and salvation, the hope which promises forgiveness and interior renewal, the charity which purifies and opens our hearts to love you, and in you, each of our brothers and sisters.
Lord Jesus Christ, may the Church in Ireland renew her age-old commitment to the education of our young people in the way of truth and goodness, holiness and generous service to society.
Holy Spirit, comforter, advocate and guide, inspire a new springtime of holiness and apostolic zeal for the Church in Ireland.
May our sorrow and our tears, our sincere effort to redress past wrongs, and our firm purpose of amendment bear an abundant harvest of grace for the deepening of the faith in our families, parishes, schools and communities, for the spiritual progress of Irish society, and the growth of charity, justice, joy and peace within the whole human family.
To you, Triune God, confident in the loving protection of Mary, Queen of Ireland, our Mother, and of Saint Patrick, Saint Brigid and all the saints, do we entrust ourselves, our children, and the needs of the Church in Ireland.
But back to Flannery O’Connor’s character who could be a martyr but only if killed quickly. Let us leave the last words today to Fr Doyle who so often gets right to the heart of the matter:
I wish to die a martyr’s death — but am I willing to live a martyr’s life?
“Time that passeth like a shadow”(Ecclesiastes, 7. 1). Watch the shadow of the sun’s rays creep silently across the dial’s face. Slowly, irresistibly it moves on. No power of man can stay its course; the fair, the mighty, the eloquent, may plead in vain, but nought can check its onward march; ever relentlessly forward man’s destiny is hastening to its end.
COMMENT: We will not have any more reflections from Fr Doyle’s retreat for a few more days – perhaps Fr Doyle refrained from writing at the end of October 1907, or even had a day or two of a break from the retreat. In any event, we shall return to Fr Doyle’s retreat notes on Monday.
Today’s reflection is very timely at this time of year, as we inch towards November, a month traditionally associated with death and with the holy souls. Even the very fact of putting our clocks back (for those in my part of the world at least) reminds us that winter will soon be upon us. Our days are now increasingly shrouded in darkness here in the northern hemisphere.
None of us likes the thought of death. Yet we know that we simply cannot escape it. But instead of being morbid at the thought of death, let us be filled with a holy enthusiasm for life, cheerfully filling our days with acts of love and service, just like Fr Doyle did.
And let us also pray for those approaching death, that they may have the grace of final perseverance, and be accompanied by the prayers of Mary, whose assistance at the hour of death we invoke every time we say the Haily Mary. Fr Doyle himself accompanied many a poor soldier in his final moments. May he also pray for us when our time comes.
A great desire to know our Lord better, His attractive character, His personal love for me, the resolve to read the life of Christ and study the Gospels.
I feel also a longing to love Jesus passionately, to try my very best to please Him, and to do all I think will please Him. I see nothing will be dearer to Him than my sanctification, chiefly attained by the perfection with which I perform even the smallest action. “All for love of Jesus.”
COMMENT: This quotation from Fr Doyle’s retreat notes from 1907 summarises the fruit he gained from the Second Week of the Spiritual Exercises.
May we copy Fr Doyle’s love for Christ, and come to know Him intimately, imitating Him even in the smallest details of our lives.
Today we continue with some of Fr Doyle’s reflections on the Second Week of the Spiritual Exercises and his resolutions aimed at achieving the Third Degree of Humility. Once again, Fr Doyle’s words are very direct and succinct and there is little requirement for commentary and elaboration.
The reformation of one’s life must be the work of every day, I should take each rule and duty, think how Jesus acted, or would have done, and contrast my conduct with His.
I think it better not to make any definite resolutions about mortification, such as “I will never do so-and-so.” I know how such resolutions have fared. But I am determined to keep up a constant war against myself, now in one matter and now in another, varying the kinds of mortification as much as possible, but trying to do ten little acts each day.
We have a strict right to the love of God, because our vocation is to follow Him; we cannot do this unless we love Him. Jesus will assuredly give me a sensible love of Him, if I only ask. I must ask, seek, and knock daily and hourly.
Fr. Petit told me that the spirit of the Third Degree is not so much the practice of austerities as the denial of one’s will and judgement and perfect abnegation of self and humility. This is the spirit of our rules which are simply the Third Degree.
Have I a real hunger and thirst for the love and the service of Jesus? Is it growing?
If I do not begin to serve God as I ought now, when shall I do so? shall I ever? This retreat is a time of special grace, and if my cooperation is wanting, Jesus may pass by and not return. The devil has made me put off my thorough conversion to God for seventeen years, making me content myself with the resolution of “later on really beginning in earnest and becoming a saint.” What might not have been done in that time!
The reason, said Fr Petit, why we find our life so hard, mortification difficult, and why we are inclined to avoid all that we dislike, is because we have no real love for Jesus.
The Gospel says, “He was teaching daily in the temple”. How often, and for how long, am I in the chapel? Is the chapel the place where people know I am to be found? What a difference it would make in my visits, if only I realised the real corporal presence of Jesus in the Tabernacle. This is a grace I must earnestly ask for.
“He passed the whole night in the prayer of God”. I say I am anxious to imitate the life of Jesus, here is something in which I can do so. Would it not be possible (afterwards) to spend an hour at night in the chapel after examen?
What account shall I give of this resolution when I stand before my God for judgement?
PRACTICE OF THE THIRD DEGREE.
I. Accepto. I will receive with joy all unpleasant things which I must bear: (a) pain, sickness, heat, cold, food; (b) house, employment, rules, customs; (c) trials of religious life, companions; (d) reprimands, humiliations; (e) anything which is a cross.
II. Volo et Desidero. I will wish and desire that these things may happen to me, that so I may resemble my Jesus more.
III. Eligo. With all my might I will strive every day agere contra in omnibus (to act against myself in all things): (a) against my faults; (b) against my own will; (c) against my ease and comfort; (d) against the desires of the body; (e) against my habit and inclination of performing my duties negligently and without fervour.
COMMENT: Today’s quote from Fr Doyle refers to his tactics for living the Third Degree of Humility (see yesterday’s post for more details). It clearly shows us that sanctity comes about through hard work and God’s grace; the saints were not just born that way. For Fr Doyle, reaching the Third Degree meant that he would accept and desire unpleasant things and act against his own inclinations in a variety of ways. Who amongst us would not benefit from adopting this approach to life? How comfortable we have tended to become in life. If real hardships are imposed on us, through wars, financial turmoil or other misfortunes, how much better prepared is the person who has learned to act against their own desires and inclinations even in little things.
And if all of this seems too much for us, let us remember that Fr Doyle had already been a faithful and zealous Jesuit for almost two decades when he wrote these words. Let us begin where we can and trust in the Lord to help us along the way.
“He chose want of all things, suffering and a hard comfortless life”
Following straight on the heels of the meditations on the Two Standards and the Three Classes of Men, we will today consider the Three Kinds of Humility. This is even tougher than the previous meditations!
Once again, we must remember that we are not necessarily expected to have the third degree of humility; or at least not just yet. As Ignatius says, the First Degree is necessary for salvation; he does not say this about the other two. Possessing the Third Degreee of Humility and detachment implies heroic sanctity and union with God. After all, those with the Second Degree of Humility seem to be very holy to us, and if the truth is told we are likely to consider those with even the First Degree to be pretty good people as well. But then again, we are to consider the issue from the standard of Christ and not our own, flawed standard. We may never reach this level of holiness, but we should start out on the road towards it, little by little, even if it seems frightening to us at first.
Here is the text of St Ignatius:
First Humility. The first manner of Humility is necessary for eternal salvation; namely, that I so lower and so humble myself, as much as is possible to me, that in everything I obey the law of God, so that, even if they made me lord of all the created things in this world, nor for my own temporal life, I would not consent to breaking a Commandment, whether Divine or human, which binds me under mortal sin.
Second Humility. The second is more perfect Humility than the first; namely, if I find myself at such a stage that I do not want, and feel no inclination to have, riches rather than poverty, to want honor rather than dishonor, to desire a long rather than a short life – provided only in each alternative I would promote equally the service of God our Lord and the salvation of my soul; and so not for all creation, nor because they would take away my life, would I consent to committing a venial sin.
Third Humility. The third is most perfect Humility; namely, when – presuming the first and second degree are already attained, and the praise and glory of the Divine Majesty being equally served – in order to imitate and be more actually like Christ our Lord, I want and choose poverty with Christ poor rather than riches, opprobrium with Christ replete with it rather than honors; and to desire to be rated as worthless and a fool for Christ, Who first was held as such, rather than wise or prudent in this world.
Fr Doyle made this meditation 103 years ago today, at midnight on October 25, 1907. In the old liturgical calendar October 25 was the feast of St Margaret Mary Alacoque to whom Fr Doyle was especially devoted. This is why he refers to her so much in these reflections. Note also that St Margaret Mary was canonised in 1920 and thus he refers to her as Blessed Margaret Mary.
Fr Doyle’s words today are so direct that there will be no need for comments afterwards.
I have now reached the great meditation, the crucial point, of the retreat. God has been very good to me in enlightening my mind to see His will and in filling my heart with a most ardent desire to do it cost what it may. Jesus, dear Jesus, I want to please You, to do exactly what You want of me, to give all generously this time without any reserve, and never to go back on my resolution. In this spirit I made the midnight meditation on October 25th, the Feast of Blessed. Margaret Mary. I saw clearly what I knew years ago but would not admit: that God is asking from me the practice of the Third Degree 1 in all its perfection as far as I am capable. I cannot deny it or shut my eyes to this truth any longer. Should I not be grateful to the good God for choosing me for such a life, since it will be all the work of His grace and not my own doing? God wants me to put perfection sanctity before me and to “go straight” for that, for holiness. He wants me not to be content with the ordinary good life of the average religious, but to aim at something higher, nobler, more worthy of Him. He wants me to make ceaseless war on myself, my passions, inclinations, habits; to smash and break down my own will, to mortify it in all things so that it may be free for His grace to act upon; in a word, to aim at the perfection of the Third Degree and all that that means, not for one day or month or a year, but for the rest of my life, faithfully, unceasingly, constantly, without rest or intermission. To do this I must strive to cut away all comfort in my life, choose that which is “hard,” go against my natural inclination, and give up the easy self-indulgent life I have hitherto led. The motive for this is the immense, deep, real love of the Heart of Jesus for me, His example which He wants me to follow, for He chose want of all things, suffering and a hard comfortless life, and by doing the same I imitate Him and become more and more like to Him. Can I do this for five, ten, twenty years – lead a crucified life so long? Jesus does not ask that, but only that I do so for this day so quickly passed and with it the recollection of the little suffering and mortifications endured once over, all is over, but the eternal reward remains.
My Jesus, I feel that at last You have conquered, Your love has conquered; and last night, kneeling before the image of Your Sacred Heart, I promised You to begin this new life, to begin at last to serve You as You urged me to do during the past sixteen years. I made my promise, knowing well my weakness, but trusting in Your all-powerful grace to do what seems almost impossible to my cowardly nature. Now I have begun. I promise You, sweet Jesus, to serve You perfectly with all the fervour of my soul, aiming at the Third Degree in its perfection. I make this offering through the hands of Blessed. Margaret Mary. Amen.
Tronchiennes, Oct. 25th, 1907. Feast of Blessed Margaret Mary.
We come now to one of the other great moments of the Spiritual Exercises – the Meditation on the Three Classes of Men. This is tough! It is likely that most of us would be happy enough to belong to the second class of men. After all, the Second Class seem quite reasonable to us, but only because we judge the matter from our own perspective, not from God’s.
Here is the text from St Ignatius. When reading this, we should remember that 10,000 ducats is a vast sum of money, and that the men did not acquire the money dishonestly, although they did not acquire it only for the love and glory of God.
Prayer. The usual Preparatory Prayer.
First Prelude. The first Prelude is the narrative, which is of three classes of men, and each one of them has acquired ten thousand ducats, but not entirely as they should have – for the love of God. They all want to save themselves and find in peace God our Lord, ridding themselves of the burden arising from their attachment to the sum acquired, which impedes the attainment of this end.
Second Prelude. The second, a composition, seeing the place. It will be here to see myself, how I stand before God our Lord and all His Saints, to desire and know what is more pleasing to His Divine Goodness.
Third Prelude. The third, to ask for what I want. Here it will be to ask grace to choose what is more to the glory of His Divine Majesty and the salvation of my soul.
First Class. The first Class would want to rid themselves of the attachment which they have to the thing acquired, in order to find in peace God our Lord, and be able to save themselves, but the hour of death comes, and they have not made use of any means.
Second Class. The second class want to rid themselves of the attachment, but they wish to do so in such a way that they can keep the thing acquired want so to rid themselves of it as to remain with the thing acquired, so that God is to come to what they desire and they do not decide to give up the sum acquired, even though this would be the better way for them.
Third Class. The third class want to rid themselves of the attachment, but want to do so in such a way that they desire neither to retain nor to relinquish the sum acquired. They seek only to will and not will as God our Lord inspires them and as seems better for the service and praise of His Divine Majesty. Meanwhile they will strive to conduct themselves as if every attachment to the thing had been broken. They will make efforts either to want that, nor anything else, unless the service of God our Lord alone moves them to do so. As a result the desire of being better able to serve God our Lord will be the cause of their accepting anything or relinquishing it.
Three Colloquies. I will make the same three Colloquies which were made in the Contemplation preceding, on the Two Standards.
Note. It is to be noted that when we feel a tendency or repugnance against actual poverty, when we are not indifferent to poverty or riches, it is very helpful, in order to crush such disordered tendency, to ask in the Colloquies (although it be against the flesh) that the Lord should choose one to actual poverty, and that one wants, asks and begs it, if only it be the service and praise of His Divine Goodness.
Here are Fr Doyle’s reflections on this meditation:
It is easy for me to test my love for Jesus. Do I love what He loved and came down from heaven to find suffering, humiliation, contempt, want of all things, inconveniences, hunger, weariness, cold? The more I seek for and embrace these things, the nearer am I drawing to Jesus and the deeper is my love for Him. While praying for light to know what God wants from me in the matter of mortifying my appetite, a voice seemed to say: “There are other things besides food in which you can be generous with Me, other hard things which I want you to do.” I thought of all the secret self-denial contained in constant hard work, not giving up when a bit tired, not yielding to desire for sleep, not running off to bed if a bit unwell, bearing little sufferings without relief, cold and heat without complaint, and, above all, the constant never-ending mortification to do each action perfectly. This light has given me a good deal of consolation, for I see I can do much for Jesus that is hard without being singular or departing from common life.
It seems to me that Jesus is asking from me a life in which I am to make war upon “comfortableness” as far as possible, a life without comfort, even that which is allowed by the rule.
The example of men of the Third Class in the world should shame me. What determination, what prolonged effort, what deadly earnestness, in the man who has determined to succeed in his profession! No sacrifice is too great for him, he wants to succeed, he will succeed. My desire, so far, to be a saint is only the desire of the man of the First Class. It gratifies my pride, but I make no real progress in perfection I do not really will it.
The love of Jesus makes the impossible easy and sweet.
COMMENT: The meditation on the three classes of men presents us with a very hard challenge. Perhaps there are few who can readily embrace the way of the third class. This is not surprising, as the approach of the third class of men is one of great sanctity. Our fear of being like the third class should not discourage us. Just as one must be extremely fit to run a marathon, one must have arrived at some degree of holiness before the approach of the third class seems easy or inviting. The important thing is that we keep going forward, and striving to be generous with God, even if we do not as of yet possess that generosity.
Fr Doyle, in common with all of the saints, was a man of the Third Class. He was open to God’s will, whatever that might be – the mission in the Congo, the trenches of World War 1, or even to minister in a leper colony – Fr Doyle apparently told some priests that if he survived the war he wished to go and work among the lepers. We may not yet have the detachment for such great acts, but we can all practice detachment in the little things in our daily lives.
We come today to the famous meditation on the Two Standards. This is one of the high points of the Spiritual Exercises. St Ignatius, the soldier, presents before us the battle between Christ and Satan. We must decide who we will follow. Here is St Ignatius’ text. It is worth paying particular attention to the tactics of the enemy, how he leaves no city or state of life unmolested, and how he first tries to snare our souls…
MEDITATION ON TWO STANDARDS
The one of Christ, our Commander-in-chief and Lord; the other of Lucifer, mortal enemy of our human nature.
Prayer. The usual Preparatory Prayer.
First Prelude. The First Prelude is the narrative. It will be here how Christ calls and wants all under His standard; and Lucifer, on the contrary, under his.
Second Prelude. The second, a composition, seeing the place. It will be here to see a great field of all that region of Jerusalem, where the supreme Commander-in-chief of the good is Christ our Lord; another field in the region of Babylon, where the chief of the enemy is Lucifer.
Third Prelude. The third, to ask for what I want: and it will be here to ask for knowledge of the deceits of the bad chief and help to guard myself against them, and for knowledge of the true life which the supreme and true Captain shows and grace to imitate Him.
First Point. The first Point is to imagine as if the chief of all the enemy seated himself in that great field of Babylon, as in a great chair of fire and smoke, in shape horrible and terrifying.
Second Point. The second, to consider how he issues a summons to innumerable demons and how he scatters them, some to one city and others to another, and so through all the world, not omitting any provinces, places, states, nor any persons in particular.
Third Point. The third, to consider the discourse which he makes them, and how he tells them to cast out nets and chains; that they have first to tempt with a longing for riches–as he is accustomed to do in most cases – that men may more easily come to vain honor of the world, and then to vast pride. So that the first step shall be that of riches; the second, that of honor; the third, that of pride; and from these three steps he draws on to all the other vices.
So, on the contrary, one has to imagine as to the supreme and true Captain, Who is Christ our Lord.
First Point. The first Point is to consider how Christ our Lord puts Himself in a great field of that region of Jerusalem, in lowly place, beautiful and attractive.
Second Point. The second, to consider how the Lord of all the world chooses so many persons – Apostles, Disciples, etc.,- and sends them through all the world spreading His sacred doctrine through all states and conditions of persons.
Third Point. The third, to consider the discourse which Christ our Lord makes to all His servants and friends whom He sends on this expedition, recommending them to want to help all, by bringing them first to the highest spiritual poverty, and – if His Divine Majesty would be served and would want to choose them – no less to actual poverty; the second is to be of contumely and contempt; because from these two things humility follows. So that there are to be three steps; the first, poverty against riches; the second, contumely or contempt against worldly honor; the third, humility against pride. And from these three steps let them induce to all the other virtues.
First Colloquy. One Colloquy to Our Lady, that she may get me grace from Her Son and Lord that I may be received under His standard; and first in the highest spiritual poverty, and – if His Divine Majesty would be served and would want to choose and receive me – not less in actual poverty; second, in suffering contumely and injuries, to imitate Him more in them, if only I can suffer them without the sin of any person, or displeasure of His Divine Majesty; and with that a Hail Mary.
Second Colloquy. I will ask the same of the Son, that He may get it for me of the Father; and with that say the Soul of Christ.
Third Colloquy. I will ask the same of the Father, that He may grant it to me; and say an Our Father.
And here is Fr Doyle’s reflections on this meditation:
My victory over myself, my inclinations, is a victory won for the cause of Jesus. I have been a deserter to the camp of Satan, a traitor; but now my King has pardoned me and received me back. How am I going to show my gratitude and make up for the past which I cannot recall the time lost, duties omitted or done without love or fervour, little sacrifices refused, my many, many sins? Shall I not be busy at every hour, fighting for my King, gaining victory after victory over the enemy, over myself? My Jesus, help me now to work for You, to slave for You, to fight for You, and then to die for You!
COMMENT: If Fr Doyle felt that he was a deserter and traitor, what can be said of us? This reflection on our own sinfulness and inconsistency should not encourage us to scruples or discouragement, but rather to amend our lives and busily spend every moment fighting for our King.
The example of Fr Doyle, a great tactician of the spiritual life, in fulfilling our duties well and performing litrle acts of love for God shows us the path we should follow.
Fr Doyle wrote the following notes on the “hidden life” of Jesus as a young boy and man in Nazareth. These reflections from the second week of the Spiritual Exercises are so direct and readily applicable to our own lives that they do not require any further comment or elaboration.
During the reflection on the Hidden Life I got a light that here was something in which I could easily imitate our Lord and make my life resemble His. I felt a strong impulse to resolve to take up as one of the chief objects of my life the exact and thorough performance of each duty, trying to do it as Jesus would have done, with the same pure intention, exquisite exactness and fervour. To copy in all my actions walking, eating, praying Jesus, my model in the little house of Nazareth. This light was sudden, clear and strong. To do this perfectly will require constant, unflagging fervour. Will not this be part of my “hard life”?
I should examine all my actions, taking Jesus as my model and example. What a vast difference between my prayer and His; between my use of time, my way of speaking, walking, dealing with others, etc., and that of the child Jesus! If I could only keep Him before my eyes always, my life would be far different from what it has been.
Each fresh meditation on the life of our Lord impresses on me more and more the necessity of conforming my life to His in every detail, if I wish to please Him and become holy. To do something great and heroic may never come, but I can make my life heroic by faithfully and daily putting my best effort into each duty as it comes round. It seems to me I have failed to keep my resolutions because I have not acted from the motive of the love of God. Mortification, prayer, hard work, become sweet when done for the love of Jesus.