In the matter of suffering I think you are inclined to confound the act of the will with feeling. You do not really “draw back” when suffering comes, since you have the will to bear all things for the love of Jesus; but nature shrinks from pain and at times makes our “will to suffer” give way.
COMMENT: It is clear from the Fr Doyle’s notes that he had absolutely no natural desire for the penitential life that he lead. His diary is so refreshingly honest – he wanted to eat cakes, he wanted sugar in his tea, he wanted more sleep, he didn’t want to pray. He was often tired and sick. Yet he put aside his feelings, and exerted his will. Fr Doyle is an excellent role model for us when we don’t feel like doing what we know deep down we should do.